How Can I Handle Change Better?

Ah change, the one true constant in life that no one asks for and always shows up for us.

Change has the potential to bring up lots of deeper, uncomfortable feelings, one of those being grief. Grief doesn’t only show up with death, but appears when something we grew comfortable with or used to gets altered. So to start answering this question, I would look into how comfortable and open you are to sitting with grief and processing those deeper emotions. With practice and willingness, strengthening your grief muscles will really help with the shock when change rears its head.

A gentle way I love to look at change is through the metaphors of weather.

Now I know us Californians might not completely relate to this because of how spoiled we are with consistency, but hear me out:

After getting used to sunny skies and yummy warmth, gloomy gray skies can bring up a lot of different feelings. For me, it brings up joy because I reminds me of the days we would skip PE and just watch a movie. Those days, I got to sit with my friends and just relax. Nothing to do but sit. It was glorious.

For many people gloomy weather brings about loads of depression. It represents staying in bed, dreading to bundled up to go outside for the quickest dog walk of your life, and running back inside to spoon the heated blanket. After long periods of time, people experience seasonal depression, which is when the dark skies and gloomy days affect the mental body and neurological processing.

This is change for a lot of people. Sometimes change is positive, mainly when it’s change we asked for and had control in cultivating. Then other times it’s not welcomed with open arms but gets to be embraced anyways. Both circumstances offer a grieving cycle, but one is significantly harder than the other, with resistance being at the forefront.

I want to offer an opportunity for everyone to try.

This exercise is a gentle way to practice changing the way we handle change. It revolves around an opening of outside perspectives, allowing us to step outside of our brain for a moment and see other potential ways we can be looking at our new situation.

With everyone change you face, I want to invite you to ask around and gain five different perspectives someone else may experience given your specific circumstance.

So, let's take the rain and gloomy weather:

1. Rain may remind someone of their first kiss so they feel nostalgic and romantic

   
   

2.  Gloomy weather may remind someone of Christmas time and make them feel warm and fuzzy

   
   

3. Gray skies may remind someone of their childhood living in another state and make them feel reflective of their past

   
   

4. Rain may remind someone of the time they hydroplaned and it brings up a severe trauma

   
   

5. The cold may give someone the opportunity to wear a sweater and makes them feel cozy and warm

And so on!

Perspective offers you the opportunity to see that you have options of how you can be looking at change.

You always have the choice to shift your perspective and see the world in a different light, and this exercise is a simple way to shift perspective is to see that there are other options outside of the world you may feel stuck in.